Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and before you can even finish you’re thought, the other person is trying to solve or fix the issue? Or maybe they start to tell you about something in their life that they think relates to what you’re talking about right now? I find this very frustrating because the other person isn’t really listening. Rather they are trying to fix the issue so that they can move on to something else. When this happens, I often feel less than important. I feel the other person isn’t really listening to me completely. I feel the conversation or interaction isn’t quite complete because I haven’t really been heard.
If you ever come away from a conversation feeling not quite satisfied, then maybe you weren’t really understood either. Being fully understood leads to a much deeper personal connection and when that is lacking in our daily conversations, then you’ll find a lack of satisfaction in your communication with other people.
Through my yoga therapy training I’ve spent many hours learning how to deeply listen to another person. From my training one thing that I realized is that this is a skill that we often don’t teach kids. Most of us grow up listening but not really paying attention to what another person is saying. What then happens is that we don’t learn to take the time to really figure out what someone is saying and whether we need to do anything to help them or whether we just need to deeply listen to the other person.
After I began to spend so much time deeply listening to other people, I began to notice how often others are not really listening to me. Instead other people will partially listen, assume that they know what I’m really meaning and then begin to formulate a response to my situation or problem. Usually, I don’t really need their solution. The response is not actually appropriate to the situation. In these instances, I find that because someone else only partially listened to what I was saying, they really don’t understand what is happening in my life.
I don’t need other people to offer solutions or to fix me. If I want your advice on something, then I’ll ask you for it. What I mostly want in my daily communication with other people is for them to really listen to what I’m saying and to understand my point of view.
When I found Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy, I found a group of people who have made it their goal to listen to others not only with their ears but with their whole bodies. This deep listening skill set leads a Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapist to ask questions so that they can clarify what you are saying. They’ll ask you to explain what you mean and to go deeper so that you will have a better chance to develop what you are saying. Through this process, you will have the chance to be understood.
When this happens, a Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapist will not try to fix you. They will let you come up with your own solution. A therapist might help you to clarify or narrow down your own direction to take but they will not tell you what to do. You’ll learn to listen to your own inner wisdom.
I find this approach so liberating in my own life. Too many times I’ve had someone tell me what to do, but not really understand me Being empowered to come up with my own solutions or paths to take lets me be in charge of my life. I get to guide myself from my own internal wisdom and I know that I will be doing what is best for me.
This is what I do for other people. I deeply listen to them. I empower them to come up with their own solutions to whatever issue or problem that they are facing. Maybe someone is dealing with anxiety. If that is the case, then I will listen to what is causing the anxiety and I will also listen as they work out the best way to begin to alleviate the anxiety.
When you have a conversation with someone who deeply and completely listens to you, then you’ll notice a difference in the quality of the communication. You’ll feel more connected to the other person and you’ll be satisfied that they know and understand what you are saying. Being really heard is a truly wonderful thing to experience.
Try giving someone your complete attention in a conversation. Notice the change that it brings to your communication. Be present and connected.
If you would like to try a yoga therapy session, click here to schedule an appointment. I’m ready to deeply listen when you’re ready to talk.