Who am I? This is something that I ask myself a lot. It seems to change on the outside. When my kids were at home, then I was a full-time mom, taxi driver, cook, maid and CEO of the house. Now, I’m an author, business owner, yoga teacher & yoga therapist. These all describe the things that I do, but really, who am I on the inside? That hasn’t really changed so much. Instead, the inside ‘me’ is just being uncovered more as I get older.
As my kids got closer to leaving, I started asking myself the ‘who am I?’ question more frequently. I could see the life roles that I had been playing were going to change soon. The roles that I played on a daily basis didn’t need to be the same. The ‘who am I’ on the outside was changing fast and others could see it as much as I could.
The inner ‘who am I?’ didn’t keep up with the changes that happened on the outside. It’s taken me longer to figure that out. In fact, I’m still uncovering that inner authentic self that has been hidden behind the outer roles that I played as a full-time mom. This inner uncovering of my authentic self will probably not be done anytime soon either. It’s more of a lifelong process as I continue to check in with my own inner self and learn new nuggets of wisdom about who I am in my core.
This process is not always easy. Sometimes, I’m acknowledging and accepting a part of myself that I have resisted for many years. Not all parts of ourselves are sunny and happy. For most of us there is also a part of ourselves that is jealous, angry or irritated as well. It’s the uncovering of those parts of ourselves that can often be challenging.
Now, I don’t like to admit that I’m jealous of someone else. So, I used to get mad at myself when those feelings would arise. This was me punishing myself for a normal emotion. Just because I felt jealousy did not make me a bad person. Denying that this part of myself existed only made that part want to be heard even more.
My authentic self is made up of so many parts. It’s all of those parts that make me who I am. In order to be authentic both with myself and with those around me, then I have to accept that all of these parts make up the whole.
To deny one of these parts that I might not like, is to deny my authentic self.
I’ve tried denying parts of myself exist in the past. It never works out because I’m trying to make myself into something that I’m not when I deny part of myself exists. I try to fit in with others by copying them. Always, it ends up not working out. I can only maintain this facade for so long and then my authentic self demands to be both heard and seen.
So, how does it feel to let your authentic self out into the world? Well for me, it feels inspiring, exciting & a relief all at once. I can be ‘me’ so much better than I can be anybody else. I don’t have to worry if I’m doing it right. I can just be and that is so refreshing.
The world is made up of billions of people. However, there is only 1 of each of us. Let that 1 unique person that you are be completely seen in the world. Don’t hold back and continue to uncover those layers that make up who your are. Show us your unique authentic self. Feel the freedom of not trying to be someone else and know that you are perfectly imperfect just as you are without even trying!
If you need some help beginning the process of connecting to your own authentic self again, then schedule a private session with me. You’ll be so happy to reconnect to ‘you’ in a deeper way!